What A Tease

Why am I always testing myself? What is it about challenging my own resolve and temperance, and subsequently failing, that appeals to me so much? I barely made it through giving up chocolate for the Lenten season, so how could I do this to myself?

Knowing that my family would be in the midst of a cross-country relocation this summer, thus throwing askew any plans of celebrating my birthday together, I decided to flash a little cash on some gifts for myself. The only stipulation? That I postpone indulging in my new purchases until I'm actually another year older. So, I bought it: The Lady Eve, Criterion Collection edition, barely $20 online. It's a beautiful single-disc edition in pristine shape, with a striking black-and-white contrast that fills the giant flat-screen in a way my pathetic 20-inch television could never capture. Barbara Stanwyck has never looked lovelier or more confidently appealing; Henry Fonda, never more naive or boyishly handsome. I already love this movie.

The Lady Eve arrived with the bills and bank statements just this morning in a nondescript manila envelope, but I was estatic as I sliced through the wrappings and eased out the gorgeous plastic keepcase with the bright cartoon depiction of Stany seducing the wide-eyed Fonda, who is so sublimely attracted to her womanly wiles that he can barely speak. Having never seen the movie, I slipped the disc in my dvd player, vowing to watch only five minutes - as if that would sate me for the next month, knowing I own such a fantastic transfer of this classic movie. Twenty minutes and a few truly endearing scenes later, I decided to give my challenge the old college try and truly abstain from any more Stanwyck/Fonda indulgences until the calendar deems me worthy.

As if I can last almost a month. As if.