Apr 18, 2006

Je deteste l'Hollywood

"There is no shortage of good, original ideas and there's just no point to remakes. Why do they have to mess with things that were perfect the first time around." - Robert Redford, 2006

I don't have anything further to add to Bobby Red's lamenting, but I will clarify that the following titles are but a small list of upcoming feature films that are blatant rip-offs adaptations of the television shows of yesteryear. Am I the only one who finds these films rather blasphemous and completely devoid of any of the creativity, originality, and social commentary that make films worthwhile? Films like Baywatch and Sailor Moon will undoubtedly be a waste of time, but I take a little more than a modicum of offense to updating shows like Welcome Back, Kotter and I Dream of Jeannie. Is there some pressing need to revive these classics? Funny - TV Land has been sating me for years.

Why, Hollywood - why? I guess they didn't learn from big-screen versions of The Honeymooners, Bewitched, The Wild Wild West, Leave It to Beaver, The Dukes of Hazzard, Starsky and Hutch, The Beverly Hillbillies, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera....

Coming Soon! Be sure to coordinate the release dates of the following pointless, box-office bombs with your fervent boycotting of any and all theatres:

The A-Team
cast to be determined

starring Jessica Simpson

possibly starring Jennifer Lopez

Get Smart
starring Steve Carrell

I Dream of Jeannie
potentially starring any one of the interchangeable, talentless young blondes who pass for celebrity these days

Miami Vice
starring Jamie Foxx

Welcome Back, Kotter
starring Ice Cube as Mistah Kottaire

What do you think about all of this? Can you type from where you are, curled in the fetal position with all of your dvds and memories of yesteryear television, crying for the fate of the world?